Al-Baqarah · Madani · ayah 229 of 286

Al-Baqarah 2:229

ٱلطَّلَـٰقُ مَرَّتَانِ ۖ فَإِمْسَاكٌۢ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌۢ بِإِحْسَـٰنٍ ۗ وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَأْخُذُوا۟ مِمَّآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ شَيْـًٔا إِلَّآ أَن يَخَافَآ أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا فِيمَا ٱفْتَدَتْ بِهِۦ ۗ تِلْكَ حُدُودُ ٱللَّهِ فَلَا تَعْتَدُوهَا ۚ وَمَن يَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلظَّـٰلِمُونَ

“Divorce is twice. Then [after that], either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment. And it is not lawful for you to take anything of what you have given them unless both fear that they will not be able to keep [within] the limits of Allāh.[89] But if you fear that they will not keep [within] the limits of Allāh, then there is no blame upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms herself. These are the limits of Allāh, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allāh - it is those who are the wrongdoers [i.e., the unjust].”

Saheeh International

Essence

Keep with what is decent or release with excellence: there is no third way of trapping, and even a parting must be done beautifully.

A reflection

Release with more than decency

A father divorced fifteen years ago has never once criticised his former wife in front of their children. Not when she was late, not when she remarried, not when his daughter repeated something unkind about him. His children are grown now. They say it is the thing they respect most about him.

The ayah gives only two options. Keep her bi-maʿrūf, with what is recognised as decent. Or release her bi-iḥsān, with excellence. Look closely at the words. Maʿrūf is the decent standard everyone recognises. Iḥsān is higher: doing a thing beautifully, as though you see Allah. The ayah asks more of a parting than of staying.

A modern commentary spells out what release with excellence includes. Give her all her rights, and let the man who divorced her not speak of her with ill. That last phrase is one most of us would never have thought to put into a law.

The word for release, tasrīḥ, has a lovely origin. One lexicon explains it as sending the herds out to pasture in the morning. Another says the divorce word was borrowed from that. A herder does not drive his animals into a ditch. He sends them out towards grass.

That is the picture of a good parting. Not slamming a door, but sending someone out towards whatever good Allah has for them next. Without bitterness in the telling, and without debts left unpaid.

It is not easy. Pain wants to be spoken. But the father who stayed silent gave his children a gift worth more than being right.

The full entry has 6 more reflections, questions to sit with, and "Live it today" - with the words, the roots and the tafsir alongside. Free, no account, works offline.