Maryam · Makki · ayah 14 of 98

Maryam 19:14

وَبَرًّۢا بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ وَلَمْ يَكُن جَبَّارًا عَصِيًّا

“And dutiful to his parents, and he was not a disobedient tyrant.”

Saheeh International

Essence

The boy born to two very old parents was wide in his goodness to them, never overbearing, never holding out against a call.

A reflection

Goodness with room in it

Dutiful to his parents. For many readers that phrase means compliance. A good son does what he is told. Kindness to parents becomes a matter of obedience and not answering back.

The word the ayah uses is wider than that. Its root, in the lexicons, carries the picture of stepping from the sea onto wide, firm land. Barr is dry land, as opposed to the sea. Birr is goodness with room in it: truthful, generous, kind without narrow edges.

The commentaries fill in what that breadth looked like in Yaḥyā. One says he hastened to obey them and to love them, and never cut them off. Another says he was gentle with them and did them good. Two of the concise commentaries add a telling phrase. He was not too proud to obey his Lord, nor too proud to obey his parents. The humility that bent his head to Allah bent it to them too.

One classical commentator explains the order of the ayat. First the surah describes Yaḥyā's obedience to his Lord. Then, next, his goodness to his parents. After honouring Allah, he notes, no act of worship ranks like honouring parents. He cites the ayah that joins the two: worship none but Him, and be good to your parents (17:23).

So the worn picture of a dutiful child as a compliant one is too narrow. Birr includes hurrying towards them, loving them, speaking gently, doing good beyond what is asked. It is the opposite of grudging.

Remember who Yaḥyā's parents were. A man who described himself as dried-out wood, and a woman barren from youth to old age. Being wide with such parents meant patience with frailty, every day.

The full entry has 5 more reflections, questions to sit with, and "Live it today" - with the words, the roots and the tafsir alongside. Free, no account, works offline.