Luqman · Makki · ayah 15 of 34

Luqman 31:15

وَإِن جَـٰهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰٓ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِى ٱلدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا ۖ وَٱتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَىَّ ۚ ثُمَّ إِلَىَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ

“But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge,[1161] do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.”

Saheeh International

Essence

When parents push you away from Allah, refuse the one thing and keep everything else: walk beside them kindly, while following a different path.

A reflection

Neither obedience nor rupture

Two opposite assumptions surround this ayah, and both are common. The first: honouring parents means obeying them in everything, so a child who resists them in religion is disobedient. The second: if parents oppose your faith, you owe them nothing, and distance is justified.

The ayah refuses both in a single sentence. Fa-lā tuṭiʿhumā: do not obey them, on this one matter, setting up partners with Allah. Wa-ṣāḥibhumā fī al-dunyā maʿrūfan: and keep them company in this world, in a way that is right and decent.

The commentaries fill out what that company means. One lists good character, forbearance, patience, kindness and keeping ties: whatever generosity and decency require. Another explains it as obeying them in everything where there is no sin between you and your Lord. The refusal is narrow. The kindness is wide.

A woman's parents have never accepted her faith. They will not discuss it, and her mother still sighs when she sees her pray. She takes her father to his eye-clinic appointments every month. She fills in their forms, sorts their medication, remembers their anniversary. She has never once prayed in front of them to make a point, and never once skipped a prayer to keep the peace.

That is the ayah lived. One commentary draws the distinction in a line worth keeping. Follow the path of the believers in your religion, not theirs, while you are commanded to keep them company well in this world.

Neither surrender nor rupture. A narrow no, held inside a wide yes.

The full entry has 6 more reflections, questions to sit with, and "Live it today" - with the words, the roots and the tafsir alongside. Free, no account, works offline.